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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 51Jack Bauer has single handedly tortured more people than Britney Spears has with the aid of mass media and multinational record companies.
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# 11024 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.
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# 46Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
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# 81If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
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# 99Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.
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# 34If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
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# 90A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
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# 93Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
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# 74How many Jack Bauers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Jack Bauer isn't afraid of the dark.
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# 73Jack Bauer doesnt walk thru the valley of the shadow of death.. he IS the valley of the shadow of death.
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# 101When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
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# 58Jack Bauer fought Cancer. Now it's safe to smoke.
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# 39Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
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# 10Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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# 69Jack Bauer's favorite Beatles tune: Happiness is a Warm Gun
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# 11When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
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# 20When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
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# 65If Jack Bauer were to interrogate himself, the result would be analogous to multiplying infinity by zero.
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# 106In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."
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# 44Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
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# 33Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
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# 75Jack Bauer is so ruthless, his 4 inch action figure can extract information more efficently than an h2so4 enema.
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# 19Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
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# 5If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
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