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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 73Jack Bauer doesnt walk thru the valley of the shadow of death.. he IS the valley of the shadow of death.
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# 69Jack Bauer's favorite Beatles tune: Happiness is a Warm Gun
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# 101When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
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# 39Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
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# 71.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
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# 35People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
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# 2If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
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# 26When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
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# 91The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer.
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# 66Jack Bauer drinks Centox gas and spits out terrorists.
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# 10Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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# 59Anytime, anywhere, anyone shoots someone in the thigh, they have to pay a royalty to Jack Bauer.
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# 95On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
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# 88When someone said Jack Bauer facts are copying Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck tried to roundhouse kick Jack, who soon shot him in the face.
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# 75Jack Bauer is so ruthless, his 4 inch action figure can extract information more efficently than an h2so4 enema.
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# 53Jack Bauer pisses with the lid down and still gets it in.
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# 29Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
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# 89Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
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# 96If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
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# 65If Jack Bauer were to interrogate himself, the result would be analogous to multiplying infinity by zero.
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# 57Where the Happy Meal at McDonalds comes with a toy, the Jack Bauer Meal comes with a dead terrorist.
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# 45After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
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# 9Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
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# 48It's not considered nerve gas until it gets on the nerves of Jack Bauer.
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