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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 80Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd...no one fools Jack Bauer.
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# 59Anytime, anywhere, anyone shoots someone in the thigh, they have to pay a royalty to Jack Bauer.
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# 94Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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# 109"Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked".
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# 9Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
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# 72When Jack Bauer goes diving, the Sharks insist on a cage for their own protection.
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# 93Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
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# 62When Jack stares into the sun, the sun flinches.
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# 77Jack Bauer's morning cup of coffee has been known to jump start nuclear submarines.
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# 92Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.
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# 15Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
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# 16When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
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# 91The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer.
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# 105Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers.
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# 71Jack Bauer once killed a terrorist in NYC by pointing his finger, and whispering "Bang!" While eating a burger. In LA.
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# 84When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
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# 20When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
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# 5If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
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# 90A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
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# 70Jack Bauer has counted to infinity. Twice.
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# 30Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
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# 51Jack Bauer has single handedly tortured more people than Britney Spears has with the aid of mass media and multinational record companies.
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# 17Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
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# 40When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
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