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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 51Jack Bauer has single handedly tortured more people than Britney Spears has with the aid of mass media and multinational record companies.
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# 11024 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.
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# 46Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
2424241200 ave of 95 (from 263 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 81If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
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# 99Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 661 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 34If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
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# 90A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.
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# 93Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
2424242412 ave of 97 (from 228 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 74How many Jack Bauers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Jack Bauer isn't afraid of the dark.
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# 73Jack Bauer doesnt walk thru the valley of the shadow of death.. he IS the valley of the shadow of death.
2424241200 ave of 82 (from 138 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 101When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
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# 58Jack Bauer fought Cancer. Now it's safe to smoke.
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# 39Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
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# 10Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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# 69Jack Bauer's favorite Beatles tune: Happiness is a Warm Gun
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# 11When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
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# 20When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
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# 65If Jack Bauer were to interrogate himself, the result would be analogous to multiplying infinity by zero.
2424241200 ave of 79 (from 133 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 106In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."
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# 44Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
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# 33Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
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# 75Jack Bauer is so ruthless, his 4 inch action figure can extract information more efficently than an h2so4 enema.
2424241200 ave of 75 (from 101 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 19Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
2424241200 ave of 82 (from 168 votes)Rate it:24487296120

# 5If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
2424242412 ave of 99 (from 508 votes)Rate it:24487296120

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