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Random facts about Jack Bauer - JackBauerIsGod.com

Jack Bauer is God.

Top 24


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24 Random Facts: (more)
# 2If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
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# 52When Jack Bauer wants a vacation, every terrorist in Los Angeles is dead within an hour.
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# 71.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
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# 60If Jack Bauer were to run for President, he would be the nomination for both parties and win with 100% of the votes.
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# 96If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
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# 62When Jack stares into the sun, the sun flinches.
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# 50Jack Bauer invented a time machine for a seventh grade science fair. Why else do you think dinosaurs are extinct?
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# 42If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
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# 64If you ever need a country annihilated, call Jack Bauer and tell him that Kim was kidnapped and killed there.
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# 37Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
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# 16When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
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# 72When Jack Bauer goes diving, the Sharks insist on a cage for their own protection.
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# 99Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer.
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# 88When someone said Jack Bauer facts are copying Chuck Norris facts, Jack hunted down Chuck. When he found him, Chuck tried to roundhouse kick Jack, who soon shot him in the face.
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# 53Jack Bauer pisses with the lid down and still gets it in.
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# 8Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
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# 17Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
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# 45After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
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# 23When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
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# 95On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
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# 11When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
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# 98Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
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# 61Jack Bauer is the Best Man. Who said anything about a wedding?
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# 31In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
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