JackBauerIsGod.com

Fact # 103

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

Fact # 64

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

If you ever need a country annihilated, call Jack Bauer and tell him that Kim was kidnapped and killed there.

Fact # 97

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.

Fact # 23

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Fact # 34

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

Fact # 15

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Fact # 46

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

Fact # 2

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Fact # 79

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."

Fact # 13

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Fact # 71

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Jack Bauer once killed a terrorist in NYC by pointing his finger, and whispering "Bang!" While eating a burger. In LA.

Fact # 44

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

Fact # 101

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

Fact # 106

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."

Fact # 48

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:14:52 -0800

It's not considered nerve gas until it gets on the nerves of Jack Bauer.